Bye

It was today around 2:30 in the afternoon when I found out that I wouldn't see you anymore. Both a blessing and a curse, I am once again forced to deal with the emotions that come along with anything you do. Relieved that I won't have to face you once again, but saddened that I won't get to see that smile. Oh boy, I'm gonna miss you. You taught me a lot, and I don't think you even know it. You forced me to grow up quickly, and you showed me the cruel tendencies of this world, you showed me what pent up anger and a handle of vodka would make me do, you taught me that everything isn't as sweet as it seems. You showed me that people can be scared to love and because of this they hurt people without feeling guilty. You taught me that I would have to suck it up sometimes, and stop crying. You hurt me, and I am so thankful you did. You were the first person to make me feel the feelings I felt for the short time I knew you. I am blessed for all the tears you caused me to shed, but also blessed for all the lessons learned, You blessed me with the silence we shared, and the unspoken confusion of our relationship. I still have your shirt, and I refuse to wear it because it obviously reminds me of you, but I'm glad I still have it because it will obviously remind me of you. Blessed to say I knew you like I did, but it will still remain our little secret...like forbidden. I think you cared about me more than either of us really knew and the same goes for me caring about you. I want to text you and see how you are, but I think two months of space may turn into a lifetime of miscommunication. You were the reason I cried more than laughed and you were the reason I got drunk as often as I did, you were the reason behind my smiles and laughter, you were the reason I opted to walked the extra 5 minutes to get to class to take the chances of seeing you. You were the reason I went for 8am runs the morning after, the morning after our bodies intertwined. You were the motivation to be the best me, but honestly you were the reason that I couldn't be. You were the biggest contradiction in my life at that time, soul ties really fucked me up. But I am glad that I knew you, and I am glad that you taught me to grow up. I am glad that I got to experience a lot of lifes' firsts with you, and the thing that makes it better but hurt all the more is that you never really knew...the feelings you made me feel for you. Boy, oh Boy I'm really gonna miss you.

Sincerely,
Ariel Braxton


Note from the Author: If you believe in God or a higher power, remember that things play out the way they are supposed to. Lessons are learned not to harm but enhance you. I'm so glad I got to be hurt by this person, he was a blessing, it was my pleasure to feel things with him. He unlocked a lot of doors that eventually allowed me to find myself, and for that I am eternally thankful for this heartbreak.