Collective Poems

1.
This is a set of about 10 short pieces that don't really relate to each other but at the same time have everything to do with each other. Probably doesn't make sense, but whatever neither does my life.

I believe that there is a day and a night.

            The sun determines day and the night determines when my fears start. I spend nights laying in my bed waiting for you to steal my heart. Fearing that you won’t ever love me, knowing my fears will come true because any guy who comes near me tends to flee, oh so gracefully. So the presence of the moon tends to cause me to swoon…wallowing in my own head. Leaving all compassion and hope hanging dead. The sun represents a new day, but to me it represents a life at stray. A life I am longing for and just trying to obtain. Like I’m a hopeless kid reaching for the life I never had but always wanted. My fingertips are skimming my dreams, and my arm is becoming weak with exhaustion. And I stand there reaching during the day until night comes and my spirits start to decay. Because my dreams are just too far away. I become frail and meek because in my life nothing has felt incredibly complete. I grasp for everything that is just not there, and I’m left feeling empty and beyond bare. Nighttime brings this set of dreams that just won’t go away from me…until the daylight begins to gleam.

Sincerely,

Ariel Braxton

2.

My 2nd instillation; I think this one is pretty uplifting but you may hate it...oh well that's how life works. Goodnight.

I believe in you.

            You have endless potential. It may be hard to believe this at times, being human we doubt every ounce of greatness in us, it is the way we are raised. But I tell you, the act of living every day, this makes you brave. So stand up and raise your head high because you are worth it, every drop of sweat that rolls off your head, you are worth it. Every tear shed in times of hopelessness, you are worth it. I believe that you are destined to be great, so to every person who has told you no, tell them success is your fate. I can’t explain this any better, but God made man and man is made in his image, so if you were by chance sown together by the hands of someone else which is highly unlikely, then you are made in the image of God. Be courageous in that fact, that in God’s eyes you are more precious than a pearl. You are the most sought after diamond, that is relentlessly dug up by the precious hands of African children fighting to live for tomorrow. You are significant, and you are magnificent. You are the only you there is, and if this is an ounce of hope I pray God floods your gates with gallons of it. Hope, is in you. You are hope. So my child of God, my brother or sister in Christ, you are precious and you are worth it. 

Sincerely,

Ariel Braxton

3.
The magical 3rd piece...who's the magician here? I'm lost, but what else is new, enjoy.

I believe that people can have intentions to hurt each other.

            The way we speak tears' mountains down. But when we speak the words that come out have us bound. Bound to society’s perceptions and stereotypes. Please tell me when was the last time you said something that was nice. I am a victim of words. I am a victim of your personal concerns. We are all victims but also we are the offenders. I believe that people have been taught to hate themselves first and then others. The way this world works, has us running after an unreal destination, and in that journey we must take others dignity with us. No, I do not blame you for what the world has taught you. But I do blame all of us as a whole, how can we not uphold justice. How can we not uphold the idea of caring. What happened to “Call on me brother when you need a friend; we all need somebody to lean on.” Where are our hearts and where is our integrity. If you can stand there and spew out thousands of words that are meant for only harm, then why can’t you realize that it only takes one word to tear mountains down? It only takes one word to knock another person down in this world.

Sincerely,
Ariel Braxton

4. 
Installing the 4th piece of this cool looking puzzle...there is no puzzle. kk bye.

I believe in myself.

            I have had to pick myself up from the coldest of places, but I am here. I went through stages of self-hatred but I am here. I have gone through a life full of chasing things that I already have. I have never believed that I was good enough, but strangely God always instilled the thought of greatness in me. For some reason I know God wants me to succeed. But physically…I can’t leave any part of my body be. Pushing these facts aside, I know that I will rise, to the top of the mountain, that we call life. And…and through the rough times I will find flat land, and there I will stand…in glory. I believe in myself enough to get past those dark nights of suicidal thoughts to realize I will have another day. I believe in myself enough to push through the tears and say life is worth it. I believe in myself enough to be radiant. I will continue to strive forward and pray for that day where I will see myself with the eyes of God. I pray that I see that day where my reflection radiates through the day. I believe in myself enough to continue to pray.

Sincerely,

Ariel Braxton

5. 

The number 5 is a prime number.

I believe that pain is real.

            Death, Heartache, Dreams being crushed. That moment the one thing you held so near to your heart is slipping off of your fingertips, the moment you let go of the things that were supposed to be with you for a lifetime…That is when you begin to live real life. Experiencing pain is a process of growing up. No one can be sheltered for their whole life; that is not possible. It is inevitable that you will get hurt, and you will get hurt really bad. I’m sorry to say this but you will have days where you will lay in bed being able to not feel anything but sadness that is traveling throughout your bones. And it’s bad. Your life will drastically change from one mere experience, and you will hate that person who passed away. You will hate that person who told you repeatedly that you couldn’t do it. And that person who broke your heart will always be that douche bag or bitch who broke your heart. No matter how hard you try to forgive them, the feeling of hate will always be there. You may be content with the past transgressions, but please don’t underestimate the concept of aggression. The vigorous deceit that came from the other person’s actions, it was real and it was intentional. But forgiveness will not help you stray away from going mental. I tell you this truth to save you from the miserable but necessary root of life…pain. It is real and it hurts.  

Sincerely,

Ariel Braxton

6.

Six is the number of times I tried to do a cartwheel today, I am still not successful. I know no one really cares...enjoy the piece.

I believe that I am in no way perfect.

            I sin. As young Kendrick says. “I am a sinner. Who’s probably gonna sin again. Lord forgive, lord forgive me for things I don’t understand.” I do not claim to be perfect. And when people look at my life they believe I have it all together. Tell me what an insecure little girl knows about the world. Nothing, I know nothing. An eating disorder and a desire to be wanted leaves me sitting in the shittiest of places. You don’t know my life and you don’t even know what’s under my skin. I am child at the ripe age of 18, and I still don’t know how to love me. I like to get drunk so it is easy for me to fake love for a night, and I passed the point of being afraid of judgment, so please don’t say you know me. And I beg you don’t uphold me to anything. I am lost and just trying to make sure that my life will mean something. I have a father that I love too much for his own good, a father who is the definition of misunderstood. A father whose mother didn’t know how to love him, and that scare was left open on his heart, and even my mother can’t close that scare. I have my mother who loves me with every ounce of her being, who fought through a marriage to ensure my happiness and well-being. A mother who wanted to travel, and who is full of unimaginable potential, a mother who was held back by her husband. A mother who put me before herself. So tell me my family is perfect please. Dare to say I am perfect. I dare you to say I have it all together. But I will continue to let you believe that, because it’s obvious you have no desire to get to know me.

Sincerely,

Ariel Braxton

7. 

To me seven is a number of honesty...so honestly I wish I could be genuine with every person I have ever met.

I believe that love is something real

            The faith I have in love is surreal, but extremely frightening. Because I haven’t seen real love up close, and I want to feel it in my bones until my body shuts down on me. When I think of real love my body aches because I know what it is and never have I seen it. And when I let the ways of this world tell me that I just need to find love in the next boy who walks my way, I am ashamed to say that I need it. Love……love what are you and what have you done with your sincerity. Love……oh love please let the best of you come and find me. Affection, I fear you but you’re the only nightmare I want to come true. You’re the only nightmare that leaves me in your grip when sun rises the next day. I’m infatuated with the idea of love. The kind of love I love has no bounds. And the kind of love I love knows how to heal and not hurt. The love I love is the kind that caresses my skin as my eyes shut fearing night. The warm embrace of your arms and in that moment not even caring about your face. Because your embrace…is what’s reaching my soul. I love the kind of love that is real. And I fear the kind of love that is real. But I don’t care if my body falls apart from real love because I can die saying I felt it. Those subtle kisses on the forehead and the “I love you’s” that are said every day with passion. Those are the things we will live and die for, and it’s okay that we do, because we are worth it.

Sincerely,

Ariel Braxton